Thursday, October 18, 2007

It's been quite a while

Dear Mr. Astronaut,

I wanna be just like you. I wanna go to space, and float around, conducting experiments. I like the idea of a silver top spinning around for ever and ever. Imagine the benefits of the lack of gravity on life on earth. Imagine if I managed to find a cure to cancer in space! Now there is hope for the millions of people with cancer to find a cure! We just have to send all of them to space at a cost of RM30 Million each for the treatment to work!

I wanna be able to grin in front of cameras, and talk to the prime minister as well. I wanna be able to tell my chef friend (from space!) that I adore him too and wanna be with him no mater what and that our business will continue to grow and grow and grow, just like our affection for each other.

I want the government to spend money on me too, all RM 30 Million of it. After all, the government already spends millions on government scholars who never come home to serve the country anyway. I don’t care about overspending in the government and budget deficits, because this is sure as hell something worth doing for my country. Our country. We are officially a developed nation now because we have sent someone to space.

Wowwee, it must be a great feeling to be the first Malaysian in space. Oh, I’m hearing that they want to send a Malaysian woman to space now. Do you think that there might be a higher chance of me qualifying for the vacation trip if I became a woman? Mr. Astronaut, I wanna be just like you. You inspire me. You make me love Malaysia more. You inpire me to become a rocket scientist cum astronaut. I feel like quitting my job now. You light up all our lives. On behalf of Malaysia, thank you for the RM30 million well spent.

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Railmaster 5000

Altogether now!

I've been working on the railroad
All the livelong day
I've been working on the railroad
Just to pass the time away

Can't you hear the whistle blowing
Rise up so early in the morn
Can't you hear the captain shouting
Dinah, blow your horn

I've started building my railroad. Finally. Question is, have you?

Sunday, March 04, 2007


Sensasi! If you havent seen it, click on the link. Credit to YouTube and the guy who posted it on YouTube. Jobless people do have a purpose in life afterall.

Now, this baffles me. Following the statement that actress made about older women marrying younger men, they've subsequently decided to ban her from any TV or radio programs for a year and to also ban the tv show responsible for airing her live. As with all things muslim and passionate, I simply think they've overreacted, AGAIN.

Oh, do I hear someone saying that she wasn't talking about just ANY old woman. Yeah, that's true, she happened to talk about Prophet Muhammad's wife. Then again, consider the following:
1. Seeing how the life expectancy of people of that time to be about what? 60 years for men, and ZERO for women (this is well documented from the many history text books of our time depicting Islam as the saviour of the barbaric female baby killing tribes of Arabia), I do not see how describing a 40 year old woman as "dah nak mampos" to be inaccurate, though crude it may seem.

2. Would we be just as rilled up if for instance, the actress was to talk about any other 40 year old woman and described her as "dah nak mampos"? In fact, we would have laughed our asses if she made fun of another actress who happened to be doing the same thing. Hence, in Islam, and in equality, which is a strong point of Islam, why do we treat the cases seperately?

3. Respect by way of association. We respect the Prophet's wife, because of that. She was the prophet's first wife. I am sure as hell that she was a nice lady, strong, honorable, yada yada and all, but seriously, I don't know how she is in real life. There are almost no accounts of a terrible version of her, something to tip the scales in the other direction. So, by way of brainwashing, we have been forced to respect her, because of her association to the Prophet. Fine. But does this mean that I have to respect a certain son-in-law of Pak Lah justttt because he married into PakLah's family, and is therefore, to be respected based on association? In the same manner, if your father was the ex-PM of this country, does that mean I am supposed to respect you a little more than the average joe out there? COME ON PEOPLE!

See what I mean by getting riled up for no apparent reason? We are supposed to be concentrating on getting the people together and united, and yet, here we are, finding time to ban an actress and fuck her up just because she slandered a woman who has been dead for 1400 years. In the midst of our passion and faith in any religion, we have still got a responsibility to critically and constructively analyze all situations, as accurately as we can. It is extremely easy to be angry at someone or something. The difficult part is understanding why the other person acted that way. Same goes for that bunch of cartoons about the Prophet.

When, if ever, will muslims learn that this world is changing? Does anyone truly want to continue living in a time warp?

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Responsible Blogging

A great friend of mine, the "successful" blogger/journalist politikus, had this to say about irresponsible blogging.

It got me thinking. All of 5 minutes at that, before I came to the following conclusion.


I cannot give a shit about responsible blogging. I cannot even give a rat's shit about what other people think, feel, act, and want to do to me. I ENJOY slandering/ mud-slinging/ backstabbing/ defaming persons/groups/organizations out there. I ENJOY it even more if I think they deserve it. And so what if they decide to slander me back. Boo Hoo Hoo. They have every right to defend themselves, as I have a right to slander their asses off the face of this earth.

I can say whatever I damn well please here. You can do whatever you damn well want to. Slander me if you want, damage my name if you need to. So what. This world is not going to end just because I said some words. And neither is it going to stop just because you think your shitty assed reputation has been tarnished. I am quite sick and tired of having to toe the line everyday, of being politically correct, of looking after peoples feelings. If you decide to sue me, so sue me. I will make it the worse day of your life. I will fight every inch of the way. I will make sure your mother and family drowns with me. Bullshit to the person who says that everything is business. Personal attacks rocks.

A friend of mine who had recently joined the government service had to delist my blog from her webpage because she doesn't want me to get into any trouble with the government. She says that upon joining certain ministries, a very thorough background check is done. This includes checks on friends, blogs, and of course, friends' blogs. (Privacy? Privacy my ass). Very nice and thoughtful of her actually. More likely though, and I do not blame or keep a grudge on her for doing this, is because a person who is found being a friend of a "radical" like me, would most likely not end up with a nice rosey career in the government service. She's a nice dear old friend, so we are still friends. Won't begrudge her of denying our friendship, if she has to.

I want to be known as the person who started the riots, the person who led a revolution, the person who always fights for what he thinks is right. I'd much rather be known as that than the polite insignificant joe who died peacefully. If I have to be detained by the ISA, or charged under the OSA or whatever "A" they have out there, then so be it. I would much rather be known as the person who stood against the rotting damnation of the people who lead this country and are in power, than quibble and shrink and toe the fucking line.

Speaking of which, fucking UMNO is at it again. This time squatting on some piece of land. MBSJ acts on them and guess what they decide to do? Erect large BN flags and banners. Just like what those motherfucking squatters in Kerinci and Abdullah Hukum do whenever someone threatens to evict them. The irony can kill you sometimes, especially after BN led Selangor had set a target of ZERO squatters by next year was it?

Who the fuck do they think you are? As a matter of fact, who the fuck made them leader of the pack? Fucking morons. I intended to vote for BN the last I remembered. I am fast thinking of just scrapping the entire idea of voting altogether, seeing how I do not like the opposition much either. And now do you know why there is voter apathy and dwindling voter percentages?

The country is digressing. I need to expedite my exit. 2nd class citizen in a first class country, or 1st class citizen in an ever degrading 3rd class shit hole. Hmm. Don't get me wrong. I love my country. I just happen to dislike what is being done to it. Not everything. Just the things that matter to me.

P.s. I'm not like this in real life you see. I just plot devious schemes without saying a darn word.

Thursday, January 18, 2007


*In the calmest, of calm tones, I am hoping that people would be able to read between the lines*
Almost everyone raves of the 6 year old who can paint pictures beyond his years, or the 15 year old who graduated with a double degree from some fancy schmancy university. We seem to be in awe of those who manage to do what none of us could even dream of at that age, let alone carry out when we are much older. We can all agree that the human brain would have to be mature in order to digest and achieve such feats. Somehow though, all the achievements above seem more and more trivial as we get along in life.
I am not trying to play those achievements down, as individually, each achievement on its own is absolutely wonderful and special. However, I seriously couldn't care less about those achievements. I am however, more interested in another kind of maturity. The emotional kind. I know so many people who may think like an adult, certainly look like adults, but have the emotional maturity of a baby elephant (non-existant, for those of you trying to figure out the analogy). It doesn't bloody matter if you can get into an intellectual conversation about politics in the Balkans, if you can't even hold your own when life gets a little difficult on you.
I think this is the reason why they prefer to promote married people. Married persons are often deemed more stable. More secure. More.. you guessed it, emotionally mature. You may have an IQ of 1000, but if you don't have any EQ, you're about as useful to anyone, not just a company, as dust on the carpet you walk on. Emotional maturity, to me, enables a person to better use his intelligence, to be able to go through the day without feeling like it's the end of the world, to for once, think that the world doesn't bloody revolve around him/her alone. As you might have guessed, the key, I feel, is to not allow your emotions to swing like a wild pendulum, trying to knock over everyone around you.
Yes, everyone is entitled to their breakdowns, but to wallow in self pity, to purposely sabotage themselves, to even prefer to be edgy, is just being too much. At the end of the day, all that you are doing, is becoming an absolute liability to those around you, be it your family, friends, colleagues, bosses etc. Before long, no one would want to be associated with you, simply because no one can tolerate you (because you're a pain in the ass). Think what you may, do as you want, but other people can only tolerate so much of your moodswings.
Fuck off and die if you feel like it, instead of just threatening suicide. Otherwise, put on a fucking smile and be happy that your mother hasn't died of AIDS and that you're not dying of malnutrition and hunger.
"Nak Hidup, Segan, Nak Mati, Tak Mau". PIIIIIII LAHHH.
(Translated Loosely: Shy to live but don't want to die)
If you think the above is about you, well, stop being so self-centered. I'm just making a general observation on life. I too, am working on my EQ afterall.

Monday, January 15, 2007

Want that?

How come, in the certainty of our lives, can no one tell me what they'd want in the future? It seems that for all the wants of the present, which people do not have any qualms about airing, that there isn't an equal want for any time in the future? Have we come to an extent where we are so preoccupied with the present and the past, that we cannot spare a second to think of the future?

Case in question. I work for a shipyard. Every year, the shipyard procures mesmerizing amounts of steel, pipes and other equipment. Yet, for the love of god, not a single person can tell me what they'd wanna buy beyond a week from now. Everybody sure as hell knows what they wanted yesterday, last week, or even last month, but no one can tell me what they'd want tomorrow for instance, or two weeks from now, let alone a quarter or a year from now. Why is that? Why is so much energy being put into what we need at the current moment, so much so that there's little, if any energy being put into what we MIGHT need in the future?

Everyday, we fight a battle to get through the day. Everyday, all we seem to be able to do, is ensure that we live to reach our beds at night, only to wake up loathing war the next day. Very few of us actually seem to make it a point to ponder, before bed for instance, what we can do to win the subsequent battles, what we can do now, that would pay dividends later.

My ex girlfriend once told me that if we did not live the present, that there would be no future. I of course, had no reply for her, because she is that kind of person. She lives for the present. She knows what she wants, but only what she wants today, and what she wanted yesterday. We were essentially two very different human beings, one concentrating on the present, and the other, on the future. Neither of us saw eye to eye on most matters. Neither of us have ended up wrong. I think.

Now that the future has come, how prepared will any of us be for it? Have we even done enough in the morning, to ensure an easier evening? Or were we too occupied resolving yesterday's issues? Today will become yesterday, tomorrow. We can either live today like it is tomorrow, or live today like it will be yesterday.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Yeah yeah, Just read It.

It's december, and I am in the mood to make some enemies. Actually, not in the mood, but I intend to poke some sensitive buttons anyway.

Warning, if you haven't an open mind, please do not read the following. Having said that, I know I've just inevitably told a 4 year old that he can't have cookies before dinner, right in front of a cookie jar, with my back turned away. It is how I have been perceiving things, but if I see it that way, there's got to be a problem right? Here goes.

You racist bastards. Yeah it's fine to be racist. The minute we pop out of our mother's white/black/yellow/brown bellies, we are racist anyway. We've certainly been brought up that way. Since I could remember, my parents have been reminding me that I am of a certain race, and should act that way. Ever since I could remember, my parents have been telling me to get more friends of a certain race. I am so bloody sure that YOUR parents would be alarmed the minute you've veered towards friends of a certain race. Actually, your parents would have been alarmed if you're non-muslim with many many malay friends, and vice-versa. So, with every action, or inaction, you've become a racist, whether you realize it or not. With every subtle suggestion from your parents, you've inched your way toward racistdome. Take heed in the fact that at least you're being a temple going, mother loving son.

Just because I eat pork, drink alcohol and gamble my savings away doesn't make me a freak. You do not have to treat me like one, just because you've been living in your own little racist/supremist world that you've never seen a malay eat pork/gamble/drink. Just because you think you know malays/muslims do not eat pork, and am automatically sensitive about those issues around malays doesn't make you any smarter than you think you are. In fact, by being sensitive AND assuming that malays do not do any of the above "vices" inevitably makes you a racist fucker. Why? It's all because you're assuming that we do not do any of the above, and do not offer us the opportunity in enjoying any of the above. Who made you special, joe?

Are you so fucking threatened and afraid that you've lost what has made you special in this country? Are you so fucking afraid that by knowing malays who eat pork/drink/gamble, you've lost everything that has made you, you, and have given the malays some sort of invisible advantage? "Fuck, not only do they get all the scholarships and fucking 7% discounts on housing, they have to invade my restaurants as well?".

Imagine this. While you were growing up, you knew you were non-muslim because you ate pork, gambled, drank alcohol and prayed in anything either than a mosque. You identified a malay/muslim by what he ate/drank, and by his uncanny characteristic at being slow and lazy. Most of all, you've identified a malay by how he has gotten around the country just on pure "kulit-fication" (skin-color-qualification for those of you not in the know). You resented all that, but remained blind, because you thought that you had the upper hand by being smarter and being able to do everything a malay can't.

What happened when someone like me comes along is that the status quo changed. Nobody likes it when the status quo changes, because, obviously, those who thought they were superior no longer are. Those who felt that they could do what no other person could do, no longer feels that way when he is joined by those who previously couldn't do it. You're not happy when I am eating at the same table as you in a non-halal restaurant. You just simply loathe it, because I've taken away what was special to you. You resent it so much, that you simply must remind me that I am a malay eating pork/drinking/gambling. You loathe it so much, that you must tell all your other friends that you know a malay who does all of the above. You hate it so much, that you have to make it a point to order pork/beer during meals, just so that you can have the twisted pleasure of showing everyone that this fucker of a malay eats pork and drinks beer. You fucking son of a bitch. You don't even realize that you've made a fool of yourself, AND made your friend look like a circus act.

How uncomfortable do you think I am, having to perform a circus act every single time we eat with other people? How uncomfortable do you think I am, not quite being accepted as a malay because I do not behave like one, yet not being accepted as chinese, because I do not speak the fucking language and was born with a malay name? I do not have to even mention the Indians, because I get funny looks when I walk to an estate to get my todi.

Don't worry, I do not blame you for being the mindless racist/supremist that you are. You've just been brought up that way. It's ok. Just because I am your friend, I do not mind performing circus acts. What I do mind, is that you just think I am a melayu-busuk (rotten malay), instead of just another one of your friends. I've got news my friends, I am not that special anymore, and neither are you. What you can do, I can do. When your parents told you that you're better than the malays and that you have to work harder, they were lying to you. All they wanted was for you to be the same as them, bigots and racists. Of all people, I learned from a racist/supremist bigot, that the job of a parent is not to make his children like him, it is to ensure that his children are better than him. So please be better than your parents. The world is changing, keep up or lose out.

Oh, and being tolerant, is NOT not being racist. It is merely ignoring, and ultimately believing that everyone has a right, to be a supremist/racist. And if ever anyone mentions that being tolerant is the equivalent of integration, so help me God, I will hit you so hard at the back of your head that your neck will be at your forehead and your eyes will be 20 feet away.

p.s. Notice how I use malay/muslim interchangably? It's because our racist government had intended it that way. Look at our fucked up constitution's definition of a Malay. Just so you know, our racist government doesn't refer to a malay government, but refers to a government that INCLUDES chinese and indian ministers and racially segregated parties, all filled with so called "grass-roots" who are hell bent on preventing integration and change. Oddly, the two most guilty parties are UMNO and MCA. To think that we were counting on them.

p.p.s This is a disclaimer. Not all my friends are guilty of the above. Very many, infact, aren't. But if you feel that I am being harsh, then you immediately ARE guilty of the above. Fuck you if you think you're special and above the rest. But I'd still be your friend anyway, if you want to.