Monday, May 02, 2005

Kopi-O Ideas

I really should be sleeping, but here I am, indulging myself in the one activity I have not been able to bring myself to carry out, blogging. It has easily been an overworked week for me, but maybe I'm just not used to the "joys" of work and the much maligned and dreaded, working life. Things do NOT look too bright at the current moment, as I immerse myself in paperwork. When I do manage to tunnel my way out of it, I will let you know. "Welcome to MITCO!" someone said to me the other day. Funny how he seemed to have the most mischievious of smiles. "I'm the new waterfish in town, so please use me!" the sign on my forehead read.

Was happily going through the papers this morning when I read the grimm headlines. No. No family perished in a 35 vehicle pile-up, and no, Badawi has not decided to make my life more miserable by increasing the prices of alcohol. However, some of his underlings/minions/kulibataks (pick the right noun) have managed to come up with a idiotic new ruling to flog to the masses. Apparently, someone, somewhere, decided during one of his/her (lets be gender unbiased today) many 10am kopi-O sessions that the best way to deter drunk drivers would be to suspend indefinitely their driving licenses. I have never imagined that the universe was actually capable of such stupidity.

Now, this brings a few things to mind. We are all aware of the legal limit of alcohol in the bloodstream, but really, how do we tell whether we are over or under the limit? One pint of beer really doesn't have that big an effect on the system as is led to believe by the government. Would it therefore, be a good business proposal to offer breathelizer services, especially to those who think they are borderline cases? (We could expand the services to the Im-going-to-puke-at-any-moment-but-would-still-like-to-take-
the-test-for-fucks-because-Ive-got-RM10-in-my-pocket-now, for the sake of it.) We could even organize contests for most drunk, most stoned and most able to walk straight with 4 times the legal limit in his blood. Oh the possibilities.

Right. So after I've won one of the many contests, and conned by my own business because I too decided to take several blows into my breathelizer, do I absolutely want to be conned by the taxi drivers too? More like, would I have any money left to be conned by them? This is when the seriousness and implication of such sordid and extreme rules comes to effect. I agree that in certain cases, it is right to take drastic measures, but steps have to be taken in order to ensure that the public DOES manage to get home safely, without being ripped-off by some taxi driver. Another business plan: why not offer value added services, such as a reliable and competitively priced fleet of taxis to cater to those who really shouldn't be driving. Services will also include the taxi driver ensuring that the customer actually manages to get into his/her house safely. When needed too, "other" services could be arranged. Everyone gets home happy.

See, this is the problem with bureaucracy. Ideas always seem effective at the mamak under the tree, but rarely any thought is given into enforcement, and ensuring that the interests of the public remain paramount. How come no one has decided to suspend indefinitely the licences of those taxi drivers that are caught ripping their customers off? My father said that they cant suspend the taxi drivers because politicians own the fleets. So, where do we, the non-politicians, the people that are just looking for a little bit of fun and stupidity, fit in?

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