Monday, June 27, 2005

Lazy Arsed Sorry Excuse Of A Blog

A number of things have happened in the past month that I've been away from the blogosphere. Because it has been a WhOLe month, I can no longer recall the minor incidences. (Ah, now I remember that I'm actually quite a forgetful person). But anyway, I am not thatt old yet, and I think I do have all my braincells functioning, so I will make a "short" summary of the entire month that has gone by.

True to its label as a multinational conglomerate (international professional robbers), PETRONAS made me sit through 2 weeks of an orientation course. This was done, presumably, so that I do not have misconceptions of my beloved PETRONAS, and to provide me an with opportunity to socialize. That said, I died of boredome by the end of the first week, and they buried me at the end of the 2nd week. But, I now think that PETRONAS is the best company in the world, and I have made many new friends. I am now in heaven (In a Clockwork Orange-esque sorta brain-washing way). Of the things worth remembering from the entire brain scrambling, is the following pantun (cant remember the english name for it). Translations in brackets.

Berkawan biar seribu, (Make 1000 friends)
Berkasih biar satu, (Love a single person)
Berkahwin biar empat, (Marry 4 women)
Yang lain buat spare part! (Keep the rest as spare parts)

Its things like these that make me a proud malay. By the way, there were other numerous terms that I had picked up, including Bapak Naga ("Father Dragon": One up from the normal buaya term), and mangkuk tingkat (haven't really figured out what this means). I kind of appreciate BM abit more now.

Upon my return to office, I was greeted by about 100 work related emails. I was also greeted by about 1000 junk mails. Thank you my friends for you very kind contributions. I now not only feel that I would willingly sacrifice my balls for PETRONAS, but I am also willing to sacrifice my balls AND cockS (you know how when you see something really huge, cross eyedly, you'd see many of it) for a kid from *&%&%-stan living in extreme poverty with a half-arsed-toothless-three-legged-mountain-goat. I have turned into a very compassionate human being because of the many emails received. I shall now proceed to rape that three legged goat and have that boy for breakfast, cooking him using PETRONAS cooking gas.

My vision is all blurry now, and my head is aching from stupid petty problem solving at work. I hate Italian companies, and I will tell you why tomorrow. Darn Italians. Learn. To. Read. English. For. God's. Sake. (The pope is in your country isn't he?)

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