Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Fuck Iraq

Pontooned deep in the everglades of the U.S of A, a father speaks to his son:

Paw (P): What yhou ghot there Jhunior?
Junior (J): Got me a lettah frem deh YooAss Army Paw!
P: I'll be damned! *slaps juniors back in excitement, lets go a couple of sawed-off shotgun shots* Yee Haw! Are yhou damn near ready Jhunior?
J: Sure am Paw! Drill Sargeant gayve meh eh reall screwin the last time Paw! *scratches his ass as a mosquito bites it* Gonna get me some hoehum moeslem ass Paw!
P: You betcha Junior! *shoots an innocent crocodile* Yee Haw!!
J: Mr. Bush sure as hell did deh right thing ehh Paw?
P: Dets right! Ain't me dehh proudest summabitch in dehh confeederatee south! Goonaa send jhunior ere to Eeraq. Dhon't yhou go dying on me jhunior!
J: I swear on this ere white ass of mine that I'll be back ferr Thanksgivin Paw!
*Both of them continue shootin crocodiles and private male bonding*

Junior, being a first time reservist, with no prior training is sent to Iraq. There, he is thought on various ways of getting his share of Moeslem ass. Being lucky to have escaped prosecution after being involved in the oihsadfkjh prison torture scandal, he is posted as a UN watchdog in one of the polling stations in the city of Vhaginah. Junior dies when a suicide bomber rams his kapchai filled with explosives straight into Junior's guard post, killing Junior and 2.71 million Iraqis instantly. The bomber is given a state funeral and hailed as a matyr, while they are still picking up pieces of Juniors liver from the dirt outside his ex-guardpost.

A lot has been debated on the Iraqi war and a lot more has been made into issues, more than what is necessary. I personally don't give a shit if the YooAss army should or should not have invaded Iraq. That's their personal choice. From the conversation above you could easily tell that they're a boisterous lot anyway. Shit, half of them, despite being illiterate-shotgun-weilding -pickup-truck-driving rednecks, bothered to vote that monkey to be president anyway.

What I'm truly angry about here is the fact that everytime a bomb goes off in the name of god and a retarded muslim cleric, it ends up killing more other bloody Iraqis than the YooAss army. Sureee, they kinda repented recently by learning how to shoot down British transport planes instead, but really, how galactically idiotic must you be to boast about it? I'm not sure if they've thought about this, but if you want the satans from the west to get the hell out, the last goddamn thing you should do is shoot down their transport plane. Numbnuts.

I laughed with sarcasm today as I read editorials stating that this be a new beginning for Iraq, how democracy is going to change things and a new dawn will herald future foreign investment to rebuild Iraq back to its glory days. Next to that litter of editorials and personal comments was a huge article on fraudulent handling of aid and reconstruction money. $8.8 Billion still unaccounted for. Try checking the interim president's swiss bank account. It might be there. Just a hunch.

So, why fuck Iraq you say? I think its a simple case of not trying to save someone who doesn't want to be saved. Read the body language of every Iraqi. They're all screaming get the fuck out. My message is this. Get the hell out of there. Everyone. Let that place rot in hell. They'll manage, being the squabbling disunited segregated mofos that they are. God sent 3 religions, 5 Kajillion earthquakes and natural dissasters and 6 Kabujillion wars down there in a bid to straighten them out. Look what's still happening. Don't think Condoleza Rice can do better than God do you?


Anonymous said...

Ah lahik dat whait ass talk choo got up theire.. reemhain me af de savan-nah, it does.. yeah, i'm a white trash/southern-belle-debutante country girl at heart *lol*

I'm with you mon ami, get out of Eye-rack. Can't even bleeding pronounce the country's name right. tsk, tsk tsk...


-[Uh-miR]- said...

Jade: That be true Woman! Loved your blog btw!